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Malcolm Telford:
tanker driver
By Arabella McIntyre-Brown
When you get the
milk carton from the fridge to pour on your morning cornflakes,
you might spare a thought for the cow who produced it, but do
you know how your milk got from Buttercup to the supermarket
shelf?
Do you think of the tanker drivers who collect 450,000 litres of
milk every day from the hill farms of the South Lakes? They work
round the clock, every day – including Christmas Day: cows never
take a day off. |
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Malcolm
descending The Coal Road
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Malcolm at the
wheel of the tanker |
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One of them is
Malcolm Telford, driving a wagon for Bibby Distribution; a
Dalesman born and bred, Malcolm loves the job, even when he’s
trying to control the 18 tonne wagon on the handbrake, down a
steep and snowy farm track on a freezing black January day, when
the farmer’s in no mood to be helpful, and the farm dogs are
looking for an ankle to bite.
On a balmy August morning, with the rising sun slanting across
the tufted grass to give the sheep fleeces of gold, mist
swathing the valleys, and the air clean and crisp on the tops
with a view clear to the west, it’s not a bad place to be, says
Malcolm with fine Yorkshire understatement. |
Black and white
Friesian faces in the barns, hardy Swaledale sheep in the
fields, swallows practising stunt flying round the buildings,
pink-legged geese in honking formation overhead – there is no
shortage of life to watch along the way.
Malcolm squeezes the wagon past a small car that squishes itself
into the hedgerow, and waves to the female driver. ‘That’s the
local doctor,’ says Malcolm; five minutes later a Reliant Robin
whizzes past on its three wheels. ‘That fellow’s worth a fortune
– used to catch all the mink in the valley.’ |
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Malcolm spends a
few minutes
talking to a farmer |
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More
often than not Malcolm doesn’t even see the farmers; they leave
him to get on with the collection. He connects up the hose to
the farm tank and runs the milk into the wagon, punching figures
into the computer and taking samples for analysis at the
laboratory. ‘They check everything that affects the quality of
the milk, which determines how much the farmer is paid, so it’s
really important that the job’s done right,’ says
Malcolm. |
With 15 or more
farms to visit in a maximum of eleven hours, there is little
leeway for problems, despite occasional obstacles like a herd of
unhurried Holstein cows meandering along the road, or a tourist
who doesn’t know how to reverse up a single track road.
But having been a fireman for 20 years, Malcolm is unfazed. |
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Mr and Mrs Goad at
Burton Hill Farm always
give Malc a warm welcome. Malc gets to know
what's going on around the place and is a
good source of information for busy farmers |
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Manoeuvring the wagon in and out of farmyards built several
hundred years ago for horses and carts seems to be a piece of
cake, even when the gap between stone buildings is no more than
half an inch wider than the wagon. Tricycles and toy trucks lie
in the middle of the yard; hens and kittens seem unimpressed by
the thunder of the six cylinder diesel engine – Malcolm avoids
them all with enviable skill. |
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Getting the tanker
up some of gradients when fully loaded puts a strain on the
engine – an exercise in gears and clutch control; and nearly 11
tonnes of milk sloshing about in the back can make the wagon
feel a bit like a ship at sea. ‘I’ve had some people in the
passenger seat feeling quite seasick,’ chuckles Malcolm. |
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'Having a laugh makes the day go faster,' says Malcolm Mrs Liz
Goodyear is interrupted as she
washes the steps of the George & Dragon Hotel
in Dent. |
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Time to crack on – lots still to do |
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So when you’re
making the first coffee of the day, think of Malcolm battling
with 18 tonnes of milk and metal on the Cumbrian hills in all
weathers, Christmas morning and all.
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